Monday, January 24, 2011


Lately I am convinced Nolan is mine only to test my patience.  Don't get me wrong, he's cute, lovable, and a fairly good big brother, but darn that kid can be frustrating.  He hasn't been listening to his teacher at school - like when she tells him to stop coloring, he totally ignores her, or at recess when she says it's time to go in, he hides.  He is loud and goofy, laughing ridiculously at anything the teacher says - funny or not.  He is the same way at church and every Sunday his teacher looks like she is going to cry.  If she asks to be released from her calling, it's because of my kid - and that's my problem because as the First Counselor, I am over all of the CTR classes.  I stopped in yesterday and asked him if he was being good.  "Yes," he replied.  The look on his teacher's face told me otherwise.  The Sunday before, he was being goofy during the prayer.  I don't know where to go from here.  Brenden has almost always been well behaved at school and church. 

I have made Nolan verbally apologize and trace long apology letters.  We have tried time out after school (lasting until dinner at times), taking things away, and the promise of a reward if he is good.  I have tried to turn it positive and offer things if he can control himself.  Nothing seems to work and then he is totally shocked when I follow through.

The kid won't even stay in his bed at night and we fight and fight and fight until I lock him in his room (literally) and completely ignore him.

This morning he wanted to watch monster trucks before school.  I told him that if he was good at school, I would turn it on for him the second he walked in the door - even before his chores.  Nope.

Tonight we read Transformers books before bed.  He said he wanted to watch the Transformers movie in the morning before school.  I told him that if he could stay in his room tonight, I would put it on for him first thing in the morning.  He managed a whole 30 minutes at most.  He opened the door and I said, "This better be pretty important to be losing your movie over."  He said it was.  "Mom, I just wanted to tell you that I am going to stay in bed tonight."  Too late for that.  A little while later he came out to tell me that I had to wait in the morning to turn the movie on because he might have to poop.  Too late again - he already lost the privilege of a movie.  We might have had two or three other times he came out before I locked his door - the lock is on the outside.

We put a CD player in his room thinking that maybe listening to some music at bedtime would help.  If he comes out, his CD is taken away.  Then we just fight some more.  He also likes to turn it up as loud as it goes.  I am deafened from the living room.

Pardon my venting.  He just fell asleep, which redeems him in some ways.  I have to remind myself that really, he could be so much worse.  He is a class clown, but he is the same way at home.  Maybe he just needs more attention.

I think he is just totally disconnected sometimes.  I can say something to him over and over and it isn't until I scream that he finally returns to Earth and out of his own little world.  I usually try to start by saying his name when I talk to him to try to grab his attention.  I have tried to make sure we have eye contact before I talk to him, but by the time I finish what I had to say, he is back in his own world.  Usually he can't even tell me what I just said.  Sometimes he looks completely shocked and has no idea why he's in trouble.  I am fairly certain he'll grow out of it.  The deaf ones are easier, but I think they have to consciously LISTEN to hear.

I didn't actually start to write a blog with the intention of complaining about Nolan.  I had to share the note Brenden sent home in his lunch box today.  Friday Brenden didn't eat his lunch because he wanted to work on a project.  I saved his lunch and sent it with him AGAIN today (peanut butter lasts forever, right?)  His lunch came home again with a handwritten note:
Sorry! I managed to eat a orange and I didn't eat my sandwich because my water bottle squished my sandwich. But I ate one bite but the stuff in my sandwich squished out. 
 I am impressed he spelled everything right, but the sandwich was squished by the time it was put in his backpack this morning and a fairly dry 3 day old peanut butter sandwich isn't squishing anything anywhere.  I got a whole lecture on how the water bottle should be under the sandwich, not on top.

I love my kids, I love my kids, I love my kids.  The good news is that Ethan hasn't been playing the role of "devil" lately.  Cameron can pretty much always bring a smile to my face, but he can't talk back.  I like that.


Amy said...

I'm impressed that he brings the uneaten sandwich home. Kaelin throws hers away if she doesn't want to eat it, then she tells me that she ate everything but the trash.

Landon and Mandi said...

It must be that second child syndrome!! It was like reading about mine!!

The Boehme Family said...

Amy, it's because he has gotten in HUGE trouble for thowing away unopened food. After going through a whole box of expensive individually packaged dried fruit, I found out he had never eaten a single bite of any of them. He was also throwing away fruit cups. So, then he was told that as long as it was something that could be resealed, it had to come home.

Nola said...

Sorry about the struggle with Nolan. Just so you know he sounds similar to a 5 year old I teach in church. It leaves me at a loss with what to do, but you just keep praying and trying I guess.
Good luck!

jessiewessie said...

I have a Nolan too. Her name is Maybe. She's 2, so not in school yet, but we have the nighttime battle....every. night. Screaming. getting up three thousand times. waking up the baby. I too think she was put on this earth to test my patience. I'm failing terribly. I give Seth a talk every sunday and on the way into preschool. now he either repeats it all to me before I have the chance or says, "mom, you forgot to have our talk".