Unsuccessful missionary work

The other day at work a few of Doug's co-workers were asking some questions about Mormons.  The topic of swearing came up - they were asking what Doug's response was to filleting his hand with a chisel a few weekends ago (he put it right through that little fold of skin between the thumb and first finger).  Doug responded that Mormons generally do not swear, but an exception is made for mechanics and farmers.  One of the other pharmacists whirled around with an astounded look on her face until Doug could no longer keep a straight face.  They stopped asking questions after that.

Yesterday, I failed to include that I also had a love note prepared for my departure on my "hot date."  Brenden was hiding it until we were headed out the door.  This morning, I also had a note on my pillow when I woke up.  It said, "I (heart) you mom and dad.  I will give you a big hug and kiss.  I love to see you on the morning.  (heart), Bren"  I find it interesting that the notes always say "mom and dad," but are always given to me.

My 5 year old monster returned this morning, but not in the form of the thoughtful monster.  Doug sent Brenden down to get dressed and make his bed.  I went down a while later to check on him because I hadn't seen him in a long time.  When I opened his bedroom door, the dog he had trapped in there escaped and I was verbally punished.  Brenden was indeed getting dressed and I also noticed his entire floor was covered in love notes for me.  I did not scold him for not being dressed after all of that time, I simply apologized for letting the dog out of his room and left.  A little while later, he arrived upstairs all dressed and I praised him for that.  He was only missing his implant.  I asked him where it was and he responded that he didn't know.  I told him to go find it.  A little while later he returned screaming and yelling that he didn't know where it was and I told him to go back downstairs and look for it and that I did not lose it.

About the implant: Brenden loses it every day while getting dressed in the morning and putting on his pajamas at night.  Usually it is somewhere totally visible, but as I said before, his idea of looking for things involves sitting in one place and crying.  He has come to expect that no matter where he leaves it, mom or dad will find it.  He has been told numerous times to put it in a safe place and he even has a special green and blue striped box to store it in.  He is certainly old enough to keep track of it himself.  For some reason, every time it is lost it is MY fault.

He came back upstairs with the love note I had written to him and proceeded to make sure I was watching, tear it up and wad it in a ball and kick it around the living room while verbally abusing me.  At this point, I was in tears and retreated to my bedroom.  Doug took over and trekked downstairs to assist Brenden in finding his implant.  It was in the middle of his floor.  Yes, the MIDDLE of a perfectly clean floor, thus and therefore, there was NOTHING HIDING IT.  Amazing.

After a little "talk," we consented to be nice to each other and be respectful and responsible.  He then showed me my love notes from all over his floor.  My very favorite said, "To the bist mom and dad."  I'm glad he occasionally thinks so.